| Okay everyone... its time for your filipino class..
These are the words that are so unique
and loaded in meaning that they will never find a
direct translation in the English language. Forget
traditional dictionaries. Keep this.
1. Achuchu (A-chu-chu).
This refers to the pointless insincerities being
said during long, involved conversations about
nothing at all.
2. Ano (A-noh)
The all-around, all-purpose word for everything.
(1) Pronoun in interrogation: Ano? (What)
(2) Noun: Where is your ano? (Where is your
father/mother/dead-uncle's-second-cousin)
(3) Verb: Anuhin this. (Paint/kill/maim/castrate
this.)
(4) Adjective: This is so ano. (This is so
pretty/big/astounding.)
(5) Interjection: Ano! (What the hell!)
(6) Substitute for genitalia: Did you ano your ano?
The use of ano is quite dangerous for the
untrained ear, and must be put into the proper
setting. "Honey, the ano is too long, we have to
cut it," must be accompanied by the proper
understanding of the context, as results may be
critical to a couple's future.
3. Booba (boo-bah).
A female blessed with larger than usual mammary
glands, which can be used as weapons of mass
destruction.
4. Checheboreche (Che-che-boh-re-che)
Same as achuchu. It is interesting to ponder on
the reason why there are so many words in the
Filipino language that beautifully describe
meaningless chatter.
5. Epal (Eh-pal).
An individual who believes he is God.
6. Gigil (gee-gil).
An uncontrollable desire to bite something.
7. Hipon (Hee-pon).
Literally "shrimp," whose body is eaten while its
head is thrown away, this refers to a female whose
body is to die for and whose face looks like it
belongs to the dead.
8. Kikay (kee-kay).
Refers to individuals who carry a brush, hand
wash, moisturizer, lip-gloss and various other
facial enhancements in a case (aptly called a
kikay kit) inside her bag. Recent inspections of
various backpacks have led to the conclusion it is
not a purely female trait. This breed cannot
resist checking themselves out on mirrors, glass
windows, bread knives, sidewalk puddles and
plastic-covered notebooks.
9. Kaekekan (Ka-ek-e-kahn)
Same as achuchu and chechebureche.
10. Kilig (keel-leg).
A rush of excitement due to the actions, presence
or even mention of he whom you see as the future
father of your children.
11. Laglag-brip (lag-lag-brip).
The female counterpart of laglag-panti.
12. Laglag-panti (lag-lag-pan-tee).
A man so incredibly hot, so heart-stoppingly
gorgeous and oozing with masculinity that female
underwear (whether worn by males or females) falls
to the ground without effort whatsoever.
13. Indyanero (In-jan-neh-ro).
An individual who fails to appear at an
appointment without prior warning. Not to be
confused with individuals who appear according to
Filipino time (approximately 10 minutes before the
meeting is to end)
14. Japorms (Jah-porms).
Describes an individual dressed differently from
the usual (typically involves clothes that have
been laundered and pant legs of roughly the same
length)
15. Lagot (Lah-got)
A prophesy of evil things to come.
16. Para (Pah-rah).
A term that informs the driver of a jeep to stop
and pause (usually in the middle of the road) as
the individual speaking intends to leave the
vehicle. Dangerous for individuals as drivers seem
to believe having one foot in the air is all that
is necessary for descent.
17. Takusa (Ta-kuh-sa).
Derived from takot sa asawa (afraid of wife), this
is a term used to describe the silent (very
silent) minority of males married to feminine
reincarnations of Hitler.
18. Torpe (tore-peh).
A gentleman who is desperately attracted to a
female yet by some strange compulsion is reduced
to a frozen mound of stuttering male whenever that
female is near.
Armed with this list and a smile, you will be sure
to make the proper impression not just on your new
relations, but on your loved one as well. Now
let's practice:
"Honey, when I first saw you, I made laglag brip,
and was almost torpe. When I finally got the nerve
to date you, I almost became indyanero, because I
didn't think I had the right japorms. When you're
around, I'm kilig, when you're not, I get gigil.
You may think all this is achuchu, kaekekan, just
checheboreche, but in truth, my love, I'm so ano
with you."
...see... you learn something new everyday! |
